Between life and death

again and again on my knees

broken by those who should help me stand

not sad nor happy in this life

forgotten

 

fallen

 

and getting up

again

again and again

every time

after every fall

more determined to keep standing

more desperate to avoid another

fall

 

depression doesn´t hurt

it´s beyond limits of sadness

beyond any other feeling known by mam

 

why?

being alive is too hard

there are easier ways around

 

why to stand up after fall?

 

standing

stubbornly holding on worthless things

patiently crying when no one hears

broken pieces glued together

by what?

 

life

 

effort testing limits of strength

buying time to find more will

forgetting to smile

what did it feel like

for the last time?

 

and again

 

falling

Sick,twisted games.

“You’ve exceeded my expectations,”   You say with a gleam in your eye,

                    “I thought you’d be BROKEN by now.”
Well, I guess this just means I’m

             |S|T|R|O|N|G|E|R| then you thought.
I may be young,

      But I’m not stupid,

                & I may be scarred,

                   But that doesn’t mean I’m weak.
& I REFUSE to let you 

               Keep playing games with me.

                   {My heart is not a toy}
“But, my dear, 

    I love you.”

                    Bullshit.

If this was love,

            You wouldn’t be 

            Trying to |k|i|l|l| me.
I’m not the stupid little girl you assume me to be.
I WONT let you keep

         M E S S I N G with my HEAD.
I NO LONGER wanna play 

           Your SICK, twisted,

                   GAMES.
Baby, I’m done.

              I hate who I’ve become.
“Baby, you’re delusional,

      I haven’t done anything wrong,

                         None of this is me

Everything’s’ gone to hell,

                          & Darling, 

                             It’s all because of 

                                      Y o u.”
                    God! Just let me GO!

                   You have not met my expectations.
Your words-

        They aren’t sincere.

                     & Your love for me

                        Is just as f a k e

                              As the smile glued onto my

                                         Tear drop-tasting lips.
This is me drawing the line,

       This is me breaking f r e e,

  {You don’t own me}
I’m done with us,

            I’m DONE with you.
I’m done with all the words being spoken not being true,

             I no longer have faith in you.
& Next time, baby,

           I wont exchange my expectations,

                                        For a bunch of pretty lies.

I don’t love you anymore 

I don’t love you anymore
I would lie if I say
That I still love you the way I always did.
I am sure
That nothing was in vain.
I feel inside of me
That you mean nothing to me…
I could never say
That I’m feeding a huge love.
I feel more and more that
I’m forgetting you.
And I will never use the phrase
I love you.
I’m sorry but I must tell you the truth…

Now read this from the bottom upwards.