“but please don’t make me,not anymore.”
the faucet’s leaking out my soul tonight,
i think i’m drowning in old memories
that i forgot i had,
so do you think you could tell me
if my face has turned violet yet?
i’ve been weaving words into my skin,
but every time i sit down and let the nothingness
wash over me, it seems as if there’s too many words
in my head
for there to ever be anything left
my favorite color’s always been the opposite
of whoever’s sitting next to me,
and once i say “i’ll do it”
i can never bring myself to sit down,
and actually see it through,
no matter how much i want to.
i’m not who i used to be, you see,
i was something too hard to comprehend, i overwhelmed.
parts of me don’t know who they are, but
you seem to keep me tied down
for me to fly without
“come back now, please,”
i yell across the cushion clouds,
but you’re lost inside your own contradictions,
and i’m starting to wonder if there’s nothing i can do
to save you, anymore.
i’m afraid of causing
more trouble than i’m worth,
because i know that once i find a place where i can let go,
i never can pull myself back in and i always end up
making a mess on the floor of
black and blue and “i hate you”s,
and you’re too beautiful
say goodbye before hello,
it would be nice to stir things up.
and i’m afraid that because of where you come from,
you won’t ever be able to break
the padlock that’s been put on your soul, and be what i need.
i’ll show you everything,
i’ll be there when you fly,
i’ll be the thing that rips away your petty chains and tells you to just go and go and go.
because it’s okay to hate yourself some times.