Depression

Those demons in your head. Questioning your choices, pointing out your every misstep.
Laughing at your pain. 
Those never ending voices.
‘Your worthless!“
“Who cares about you…?‘ 
”… Loser.!“ 
‘Stupid!“ 
The poker face that you wear everyday, the largest smiles. The longest chuckles, and the loudest laughs.
A mask, an endless inner battle, an almost seamless facade. You wouldn’t guess that they struggle, fighting against the urge to just end it. 
To give up.
To be done. 
Or how hard it is to get up in the morning. Why even bother?
The brightest, most positive person in the room may very well be sobbing on the inside. Full of sadness. 
Disgust. 
Worthlessness. 
The internet can make it so much worse. 
Inboxes full of hateful annons. 
Adding to the spiteful thoughts swirling around in your brain. 
No one to take responsibility, No one to stand up to or blame. 
Almost as bad as the silence, That feeling of invisibility. 

Wanting to reach out, but not appear needy.
Sure, meds are there but they don’t help. Not in the real way.
Feeling numb is accepted as a cure. How did that happen? 
People just want to feel BETTER.
Happier. 
Appreciated.
Accepted.
So please, keep this in mind, for as long as you can. 
When you’re walking around school or work or just hanging with a friend.
Talk to them,
Hug them, 
Show them how much they mean to you. 
Put in the effort, before it all ends. 
You can make a difference. Just be the best you, 
make small differences.
Smile more,
Listen more.
Stray away from the hate. Treat people as souls, not just based on their masks. And people will take notice. 
Hell, they might even change. 
Let’s start revolution one person at a time. 
All it takes is mere minutes. 
Let’s all make a difference, make somebody’s day. 
Embrace compassion.
Maybe even save a few lives. 
And if you, The one reading this. Is going through all of this.
The voices,
the hate, 
the longing for it to just be over. 
I just want to let you know on behalf of all of your friends and family, every single person that you have touched in some way, 
Just in case they have been quiet, 
Or if you don’t have anyone supporting you, 
You’re an amazing individual. 
You are strong as hell and most certainly not alone in this scenario. 
You matter,
People do care,
Everyone makes mistakes,
You will get through this. 
And I am here to listen whenever those voices or feelings get to be too much.

When you have that urge to hide away, berate yourself, and cry.
To help you through those hiccups in the road-I swear to you. I’ll stop what I’m doing, and we can talk it through.
When you need a friend I will happily be here, quick to your side.
Waiting to hear from you, daring you to smile when you’re going through hell. 

To distract you from those demons hidden in your head, and point out just how great you are.
So you right there,staring at this screen,
Contemplating some really hard stuff.
I’m right here, cheering you on.
Now I just have one more thing to say,
You are going to win this battle. Just don’t you dare give up!

Advertisements

6 lines

I miss

how you used to 

whisper Goodnight

each evenign eevning eveingn evening

Before 

            I went to sleep.

Sleep deprived 

You devour my dreams,and create my nightmares.

I’d rather not sleep,

because you haunt me.
No sleep for me tonight,

no dreams for the rest of my life.

If I stay awake I can’t see you,

not until I start to hallucinate.
Tired and weary I fall,

fall into your arms that I know are not there,

and I cry,

cry because I’m afraid.
I’m afraid of your fake love,

afraid that you’ll try to find me.

Afraid you won’t break your promise,

afraid that you might still love me.
And I can’t live this way any longer,

I can’t let you find your way through the maze of my mind.

I can’t let you wander through my dreams,

I can’t let you infect me.
And so, I fall asleep.