some secrets are darker than others a dirty black monster sleeps under my covers
and swims in my blood
I would tell you, show you
but I’m bound and gagged
simply all tied up
Who knew this not so innocent
plain jane doted on such pleasurable pain?
a terrible violation
unforgivable or exceptional
whose sensation is satisfied?
hunger in my throat – fear in my gut – guilt in my chest
because the cold word stirs a warms ocean
Am I a victim?
Are these confidential leather wonderments
just self-harming punishments?
The breeding ground for
the worst kind of men?
there is no excuse for them
yet I invite the abuse in
How can I be free if he controls me?
How can I ever love when hate drives my sex?
How can I ask him to play a game so violent?
nothing is as intimate
as to let
your partner get to have all of you
with and without your permission
nothing is as good
when he makes the rules
physical love expressed in the shadows of
vanilla sure is sweet
my body craves the licorice whip
sweet stinging slap as sharp as my breath
slow lingering loss of air makes
I’m heavy and fingertips pulsing
Tormented and teased and choked
I’ll float away.