she wakes up with tear-streaked eyes and her window panes clouded with broken promises. she’d smile, but there’s no fixing other people’s mistakes.
she decides that we all have twins living in an alternate dimension, and whenever they do something terribly wrong we get punished here. it’s really the only way to explain why things just can’t be fair.
she wouldn’t mind life being just a game of chance, if she had better luck.
she wonders if fake smiles can buy her way into hearts. she wonders if smiles can buy anything, anymore.
she needs to stop complaining.
she falls asleep with no will to live, praying that god please –ohpleasegod erase her permanently.
the sun rises red with apathy and regret. if he was there he would deprive her and torment her just how she likes it and hold her down under the covers. but she wakes up alone, and she wakes up alive.
she goes to the park to watch little girls in flowered dresses twirl and kick up dirt under cute pink shoes. they press tinytiny fingers to redred lips and when they breathe in fresh air they actually want it in their lungs.
she starts to pretend they are all dead, after the realization that it’s easier than believing they chose to leave her.
‘this is my past lover, good friend, family, the died in a fatal accident one night when
the collision of hearts was too strong. I was the only survivor.’
In reality, she died too.