You live in hope and make plans for things in the hope that the rainy days will end, that the sunshine comes back out. You hold onto the eternal promises, day by day letting the burden of them unfold you. Yet you still keep going , perhaps as a ghost a shadow of who you used to be. Until you reach that moment, you look in the mirror and realise this is not me.
You look at the date and years have gone past in an instant, friends family all gone, the lines on your face the sadness in your eyes the only thing to mark that passage of moments and before it is too late those moments are gone from your mind to. So what keeps you going, what gets you up each morning – sadly routines the hope in your veins running thin and the life you once dreamt of slipping away depression suicidal thoughts all these things paving a way into your mind.
You sit alone crying, in a city full of people isolated burdened by your woes, unable to speak out or up. On the surface the life and soul, inside wilting like a flower, frozen under the snow unable to feel the light or sunshine that burns into everyone elses lives. So tell me what do you do, live in the hope or live in the moment to end it now or wonder what if.
A toss of the coin a fleeting thought, a moment lost in madness and this could all finish. But wait one moment, I am still here what does this mean? I do not know but I am tired of the empty tears, the lonely thoughts the same everyday and that regret and sense of loss, one day I will wake up and that coin will land the other way and there will be no more words left for me to say.